So today I have missed another lecture. That’s the fourth
one and it’s only the second week. 50% due to being full of a cold (the third
one I’ve had in less than two months) and the other 50% is due to the complete
absence of motivation.
I feel incredibly low at the minute. There is no particular reason
for me feeling this way. I just do. Some people just don’t understand this and I
don’t blame them, I don’t even understand it myself. I have no reason to be in
the state that I am, everything in my life is good and I’m a very lucky girl! I
get annoyed at myself because of this which makes me feel even worse. I’m stuck
in a bit of a rut.
Constantly tired.
No motivation.
Getting ill on a regular basis.
Self/body confidence at an all time low.
I am struggling…
And I finally said those three words out loud to someone the
other night and it felt like a little weight had been lifted. I hate talking about things/emotions, so it was a big deal for me. I had finally
addressed it, so now I can deal with it. This post is a little kick up arse to
myself – feeling like this won’t last, it will get better and I will be okay. I
haven’t even been motivated to write a blog post in months, but today I finally
have… I’ve taken a good first step.
I’ve been through this before. Once I realise that I am
struggling and say it out loud things get better. Usually I have a big cry and
let the emotion out, this time I’m writing a post. It’s helping. I also have a
few words with myself. It’s okay to not
be okay. Feeling tired? Sleep. Not in the mood to do something? Don’t. Want
to spend time on your own? Do it. It’s okay to feel down sometimes. Everyone has
bad days. My bad day just happens to be lasting a lot longer than 24 hours. It’s hard to
not let it consume you but you can not allow it to. And the good news is nothing
lasts forever.
If any of you are feeling a similar way to what I am, talk
to someone. Seriously, just say it out loud. It won’t make everything better in
an instant, but it helps.
I’m only an email or twitter DM away if any of you do need
someone to talk to.
It’s okay, not to be okay. It's okay to admit that you are struggling. It’s okay to put yourself first.
Katie x
@katielewis94
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